qweer words

The Last Song

2010-01-30T18:27:00.002+08:00

This shall be the last entry for this blog.

It has been good, but I suppose that things change and so we pick everything up and go - new place, new experience, new people.

This is hardly goodbye, but I guess I will be seeing you around.

Cheers.

It's All About Love

2009-09-21T23:36:00.003+08:00

I guess I would never know you, though I could make out a faint silhouette from the memories of your friends. It's a shame; and that regret always come when there's nothing anyone can do.

I read your letter to Nika, and it touched me; it shook me like how the news of your demise cast a shadow over my heart.

I don't know you, not personally at least, but I am grieved at your demise - too early, too soon.

I would have loved to talk to you, about film, about life.

I've heard so much about you today, from your friends, your confidante. How much sadness you've left behind!

I don't know you, but I lament your passing. Maybe not you, but the death of a man of passion, of a giant in SEA cinema. Your passion drives so many people, it's a little freaky, actually.

I am touched by you, even though we've never talked.

I don't know why I'm writing this to you, but I know it must be done. My heart aches for you and Nika. I could never have said this in front of your friends, but you will be missed by me.

Be at peace, Alexis.

Something Sinister This Way Come

2009-09-14T23:12:00.002+08:00

It's depressing to come back to this blog and be whining about something.

Inconsequential, perhaps. Or maybe it is the beginning of dark times...

I feel like I am pulling this mask over me again, hiding every part of me from scrutiny; I feel this urge to not let myself come into contact with anyone. I've done this before, and it's not a nice place to be at.

Somewhere sinister and lonely.

Maybe I'm just being overwhelmed right now, coupled with Six Feet Under (which is just downright depressing); I'm pretty messed up right now.

This sucks. I want to be shiny and happy again.

Post-Its

2009-07-31T23:30:00.003+08:00

This is more like a reminder to me than a proper blog post (though with precise and acute psychoanalytic skills, you might be able to glean insights about me based on what I'm about to pen down and how I do it).

Industrial design, but also a liberal use of geometrical shapes. I would also like to explore natural materials (might be a good juxtaposition with the stainless steel of industrial design) and curves.

1. learn to juggle
2. learn to play the violin/erhu
3. master French (the language, that is; I'm a master at the other)
4. devote more time to volunteering

Dear blog, you shall be temporary guardian of these notes. I trust you.

Attention To Detail

2009-07-02T18:16:00.002+08:00

That is the title of the book that I got from the last Page One warehouse sale. It was supposed to be part of my wild dream of opening a hotel in the future; I am still harbouring that dream. If you have any good books to introduce about interior designing or about hotels, do drop me a line, yah?

It has been a fucking rollercoaster ride for me since my internship ended. It felt like a 10-tonner did not stop in time and crashed into me, leaving a mangled mess behind; and on other days, I was glad I survived. Honestly, I do not really get what I am actually saying here. Basically, it is all fucked.

Pardon the language. I have been watching too many cable television; and you know how liberal they are with their language and sex. I think I am a perfect proof of the magic bullet theory - just too goddamn malleable.

I think these past few days, old issues have been resurfacing: personal insecurity, which also translates to self-inferiority complex, the empty life I trudge through, and my fucked-up personal life. (Though one could say the last and first are essentially the same; but screw you, this is my blog.) A few things I have learnt (again): you do not have to try so hard, it just makes you look like an idiot; all good men are taken, no exception, or they probably have a room to put their skeletons; your friends love you, no matter what, and if they do not, they are probably not your friends to begin with.

I forget why I came to this place. Oh yeah, I thought it has been a long time since I wrote anything in here. Well, baby, Daddy's home, and he has got a shitload of crap with him.

PS: In case you are wondering, I am happy, and just a little contented. So, do not worry, if you are; and if you are not, well, I do not know why you are reading this in the first place, stalker.

Go In. Stay In. Tune In.

2009-06-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

It all started with forebodings and promises.

Then there were images, images of blooming flowers. Gunpowder, a fuse, and then, explosions.

Whistling, twirling.

She ascended to the very top. She told us what her mother told her. Then there was fire, scorching, towering fire.

Then we were awed by the magic of fire and gunpowder.

A fountain that spewed forth bronze and flakes of gold: it was like a mad gold rush of olden days.

A bird made of shooting stars, soaring, tumbling, eager to join us, but apprehensive of our own magic.

Then they came, a multitude of flowers, flowers of light, illuminating the skies, and our eyes. We screamed, fear of our proximity of these fiery blossoms. It was as if we stepped into an elusive dome, with a roof that lasted for moments, before drifting into the night winds.

Shooting stars that came from the ground! A throng of them, finding their way home, leaving a trail of orange that would never find its way back.

A bang! A woosh! A splatter! And then there was silence.

Thank you, thank you very much for coming. It was fucking fabulous.

Trivial Trepidation Towards Triviality

2009-06-13T08:43:00.002+08:00

I am terrified of being trivial. I am afraid that what I do and think will be trivial.

I cannot stand to mean nothing. I cannot reconcile that my actions, thoughts and feelings are impermanent and fade to obscurity, barely making a scratch anywhere.

I have the need to be heavy, to be able to let my weight felt in the world. Look at me! Smile at me!

I have issues with triviality.

Random Thoughts When I Saw An Old Woman Picking Up Aluminium Cans From A Trash Bin

2009-06-13T08:34:00.002+08:00

I guess the first thought was: how could her family let her come out and do this? Maybe she does not have any family; maybe she was abandoned.

How did we get here? Neither accountability nor responsibility for the less privileged around us. Maybe she does not want to be helped. But what about the others?

Where are we heading? What are we striving for? It seems like we are solving problems as they come - economic crisis, global warming, healthcare, handicapped-friendly amenities. Talk about leaders with vision! Should we have an ideal, a utopia, that we want to work to? (Truth be told, I have not really given much thought to this - just a fleeting idea. My throbbing eye right now inhibits my ability to do so right now. I will revisit this another day, perhaps.)

Then again, I considered: Maybe this ideal should be in the domain of the individual aspiration. We have our own ideas of what future we want to have, and these single dreams propel us towards a collective future.

Just some random thoughts.

IDAHO 2009

2009-05-23T21:32:00.002+08:00

This might be a little late...

Anyhow, I'm not proud to be gay, because I think there's really nothing extraordinary about being one.

I believe that no matter who or what you are, what you do and think decide who you are and that's what one should be proud of. And all LGBT should be proud that we stand strong despite oppression and discrimination and being true to ourself. Let us continue to be faithful to ourselves.

Cheers to all the LGBTs and may love win this war.

Tea For Two? More Like A Party Of Lost And Dead Affection

2009-05-17T15:49:00.003+08:00

After all this while, one would have thought I would have gotten over things and sorted it out. I mean, I'm laughing, ain't I?

No. I'm not over him yet. I don't know when that would happen, but I haven't. And I guess I should.

The finality of it all in 'I'm seeing someone now' seems almost like a cruel joke. A slap in the face, humiliating me, waking me. It's not his fault; neither is it mine. Blame it on destiny.

Someone better will come along, they say. I'm not sure if that is true. I wish it is. But for now, what needs to be done is to get my act together again, pack up those cumbersome feelings and be the person I was.

I feel it is like a curse of my life. Maybe I should not bother pursuing this at all, lay all my energy on things that matter. What is love? For now, it is a handsome funny man walking into the sunset, holding another man's hand.

The School Administration Sucks

2009-05-15T10:53:00.005+08:00

"To Whom It May Concern,

I submitted a request for a letter of certification to your kind office yesterday and promptly received a reply that they could not provide me with a statement from the school that I am not receiving any form of financial assistance; instead, I was asked to approach the Office of Admissions & Financial Aid. In my response, I asked if your kind office could liaise with OAFA to include that statement within the same letter.

Shortly, I received a call from the same staff who sent me the email and instead of being apologetic that she could not accede to my request, she went on an impassioned lecture on the inflexible bureaucracy of the school's administration, which I cannot help but also perceive to be tardiness in service.

While I understand that there are certain 'practices' that are in place and that your office processes a lot of requests every day, surely I could have been treated with more courtesy and sensitivity. If the school's administration is this reluctant to assist with such a small request (and be this rude about it) I cannot fathom how I could trust it with more important things.

The inflexibility and, by extension, inefficiency of the school's administration has proven to be frustrating and intolerable. If a student's request is met with such resistance, and made to feel like he/she is imposing on the convenience of the staff, I really do not feel like part of the school, but merely a stranger on stopover; and this is not the way to build a cohesive school culture.

Yours sincerely,
Low Koon Yen"

I Could Only Hope For The Best

2009-05-09T22:02:00.002+08:00

The past weeks have been draining and fatigue is taking its toll on me; I'm so happy I have this weekend to recharge, regroup and rejoin.

Fleeting thoughts and ruminations, I have, but I have forgotten what they are and what I have thought and ruminated about them.

I caught CATS. I loved it. I gave a standing ovation. I wished I had shouted 'Bravo!'

I am in a contemplative mood. Things have happened since my last post (duh!) and I am still trying to figure everything out. Probably part of the whole thinking and ruminating.

I should be in bed by now, but I fear I might be tossing around if I go now.

I wish I am a friendly soul; maybe then I'd meet more interesting, good people.

That's all for now. For some reason, the notice for a scheduled outage here at Blogger seems to be pestering me to leave; and so I shall, before they lock me down.

The Most Terrible Thing

2009-03-31T08:54:00.001+08:00

One of the greatest tragedy is the incapability to express oneself wholly.

Or maybe I'm just not meant to be one of those.

Clueless

2009-03-30T23:03:00.001+08:00

Who am I and what do I want?

What makes me tick? What excites and thrills me?

I am going to figure all of these out.

Scepticism Abound

2009-03-24T22:40:00.001+08:00

Don't blame us for being suspicious or cynical when there is no truth to be had and actions unexplained.

Remember, you made us this way.

Something To Remember

2009-03-22T10:19:00.002+08:00

"Grow up, and be a man!"
- Naomi

"You're mine, and I'm not going anywhere because you're scared!"
- Cooper

Secret Heart, What Are You Made Of?

2009-03-22T00:24:00.002+08:00

Only a rumble of that tempest remains.

Everything starts to heal and I can only wait for the sun to appear again: let there be light and warmth again.

PS: Shan and Feebs, I love you guys. To bits.

The Weekend

2009-03-15T21:14:00.001+08:00

I got a shirt that was on sale, a pair of really nice trousers, also on sale, and a pair of shades.

Justin Baldoni.

And my favourite quote, at least till I find another one: It is not the end if it's not a happy ending.

Crazy...

2009-03-15T08:19:00.002+08:00

I should have known.

Good things don't happen to me, generally. There will be the occasional bursts of tremendous brightness, gives me a fuzzy feeling, overwhelming sometimes, even; but that's about it.

And I think I've been saying this my entire life, with probably a few posts here that constantly dwell on it. Karma is a bitch, except I don't know what I ever did to karma to deserve all of these.

It hurts like a bitch. Really. But I suppose it's just as well. I'd rather be the one bleeding, because I know I'll be ok at the end. I can never bear to stab anyone, because I would feel the pain too.

Why not just let one bear with it for a while and be done with all of it?

I think I'm crazy.

Fucking Fucked

2009-03-07T09:31:00.002+08:00

This has been a fucking bad week.

Fucking crappy.

I am so fucked.

I wake up at 6.30 on a Saturday morning, wondering why the sky is still dark; this should have been the day I sleep in.

I bump around. I want to do something; I need to. Or else I'm just going to get crazy just sitting down letting my mind run overdrive.

Am I caring too much? Or are you just not giving two fucks about what's going on?

I hate this. It's so fucking screwed.

I wish it was simpler. It's time like this, I'd wish for not getting what I'd wished for.

And now, I just wish you'd care.

Mad Mad World

2009-02-21T11:14:00.003+08:00

Just that day, walking down Orchard Road, it dawns on me how anyone can go mad in the city.

All the walking and strolling, the talking and laughing, the smiling and frowning, the seeing and watching, the pointing and carrying, the sitting and standing.

There is too much. A relentless assault on the citydweller, innocent and just passing through. It's an overload.

I saw this woman stopping in the middle of the walkway, yelling into her phone, jabbing her finger at the person at the other end who is not there.

I saw Kumar, all decked out in sequins and stilettos, being filmed for, probably, his upcoming show.

I saw giggling students, still in their uniforms, instant laughters at each other.

I saw tourists, Japanese, Americans, Europeans, wondering at how similar this island city is with theirs, but nonetheless still snapping pictures that would last as long as they would.

There was a fleeting impulse to run and hide somewhere, quieter, calmer. But it is easier to step away from these and see and watch. It is all pleasant when one can extract oneself and look on, but a good chance, as well, to plunge to insanity.

It's a mad, mad world.

So... What's Up, Doc?

2009-02-13T16:16:00.002+08:00

So.

I've been neglecting my trusty confidante; not been updating this blog.

And not because I have nothing to say, but I'm part-lazy, part-thinking-it's-not-worth-noting. But that's not to say I'm about to close shop here; quite the contrary.

This will always be my sanctuary, my escape. A place of memories and ideas. Like a personal library.

Anyhow.

Here's like a lowdown on what's been happening, at least things that I would like to remember.

I'm happily settled, more or less, in my internship at the fantabulous RGM Entertainment, learning the ropes of the business, the big boys' way. I think this might just be the thing I'm looking for when it comes to future career options.

Of course, my destination is still the boutique hotel I've been dreaming of my entire life.

Oh, and on a related note, I had a dream about Neil Gaiman calling me about a script he submitted. I was dismissive, though I knew who he was; somehow, I wasn't as starstruck as I thought I would be. Well, after all, he was being very persistent. Anyway, he left me a text after we hung up - a cryptic two-liner which I still keep in my phone (I jotted it down after I woke up).

And.

I love my friends. And my family. I'm very thankful and grateful for them and I will never stop saying this, much as you think it's old and boring. I freaking love them.

As a parting note, I just want to say, I wish I was a better person. In all sense of the word.

Boom, Boom, Boom

2009-02-07T23:27:00.002+08:00

I was reminded of why drums thrill me so.

The deep boom, the hypnotic energy, the echoing energy.

And the guys were rather cute. ;)

The Song I Heard On My Way Home

2009-01-28T22:09:00.005+08:00

"Hamburg Song"

I don't wanna be adored
Don't wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don't wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
I give much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
Warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple

I lay myself down
To make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way

To lay yourself down
And make it so, but you don't want to know
You take much more
Than I'd ever ask for

Can I just say how tired I am of things? I'm having a headache and a kink in my shoulder.

Great.

Time Goes By

2009-01-27T22:35:00.002+08:00

I'm 24 this year. In fact, I'm already 24.

With each passing year, I feel a greater sense of loss. Maybe it's the unaccomplished life, the regrets, the could-haves. Or maybe it's something else.

I never really gave much thought about my life; maybe now and then, but never a lot of consideration and planning. I can't really say that I'm lost from that perspective, then.

It's that sense of unsavoured moments and gnawing uncertainty. Loss, perhaps, though I doubt that's what it is.

With each passing year, I feel I'm lapsing into this abyss, left floating in limbo, detached from everything I should know. I feel like I'm in-between, this reality and that.

It's strange and alien. Is this what it feels like to be an adult?

Que Sera Sera

2009-01-14T20:53:00.002+08:00

My boss came up to me and asked me what I want to do in the future.

Not the first time I've been asked that. And I really don't like that question.

Because I don't know. And it irks me.

Greatness Comes From... Somewhere

2009-01-02T21:00:00.003+08:00

It was that tremendous impulse to explode with greatness and uninhibited emotions.

Wanton. Jealous. Angry. And ambitious.

Blame it on the lust to clamour onto those gigantic shoulders.

What The...?

2009-01-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it's the big TWO-FOUR tomorrow.

And So I Face The Final Curtain

2009-01-01T09:00:00.003+08:00

Or maybe not. But somehow I'm always reminded of this song when I think about the last few months of 2008.

The post-mortem for Buih-Buih Sabun finally concluded the end of that production and it felt surreal, not least because a lot of people weren't around. Then there was the unspoken tension beneath the faux (maybe sometimes authentic) affection for each other. But I think the thing that did it for me was the fleeting notion that I want to dance again; and not just dance, but to dance with those people again. Grr.

2008 came and went and here I am - here we are - crossing the threshold into 2009, a new year, a new, dare I say it, beginning.

I shall not get all emotional and start reminiscing (or bitch) about the past year.

(Cue: Bridge Over Troubled Waters)

I think I'm kind of looking forward to the new year, but at the same time not quite ready. It's the sort of inertia one gets when time no longer holds much meaning than telling you what meal of the day it is. I'm still recovering from production and letting everything settle down. I hope I get back my senses soon.

Internship starts next week. It's kind of nerve-wracking. I cross my fingers real tight for this one.

And finally, though I'm not one to put my faith in resolutions, I shall nevertheless make one here, which is something that is important to me as a person, personally and professionally: doing my best in whatever work that is given to me and NOT NOT NOT be lazy about my duties.

I so need that to be tattooed onto my hands or my eyeballs.

The Show Must End

2008-12-29T11:36:00.002+08:00

And so I'm finally done with things and conclude that particular segment of my wonderful life.

I'll talk about it some time soon, when I'm sufficiently rested.

I'm dozing off as I speak now.

I Swear There's Something About It

2008-12-19T20:37:00.002+08:00

My mind is occupied, disturbingly, by Twilight.

There's a quality of tragedy within the film that is elusive to me, the stuff that movies are made of, though not necessarily great ones. I have faced such responses to shows before and I am a little surprised that a movie meant for the consumption of innocent teenagers would elicit such emotions. It's not coming out the way I meant it to be, for the feeling is difficult to capture, but it is a feeling I desire out of a film, this whole nagging voice at the back of your head.

Then of course, there's the smothering look of Robert Pattinson; I could melt in those intense eyes. Yes, a teenage girl moment, but I can't help but indulge myself.

I can't wait to see him on the big screen again.

More Revealed

2008-12-19T15:40:00.002+08:00

Your Top Character Strength

Capacity to love and be loved
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.

Your Second Character Strength

Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Third Character Strength

Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

Your Fourth Character Strength

Appreciation of beauty and excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

Your Fifth Character Strength

Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.

*Taken at VIA Institute.

You Know You're Loved When...

2008-12-09T23:10:00.003+08:00

You have at least two limericky poems dedicated to you:

There was once a dirty fellow
whose name was Barbarel-low.
He loved eating portobellos
but one day he turned so yellow
that he was thrown into the gallows,
where space was nothing but narrow
and he fed off nasty bone marrow.
When at last he was so bloody harrowed,
he then finally bellowed:
"I am in love with a sparrow!"
- Wei Shan the Bard

there was a man named koon,
who surely ain't a goon.
i swear he'll make you swoon
on any afternoon.

a big heart, sure has koon;
i saw him treat a wound,
for an insignificant, small-time toon
who recovered very soon.

the best thing about koon,
is his many, countless boons.
just like a rare raccoon,
he's precious like the moon.
- Phoebe the Muse

Saved By Faith

2008-12-09T22:10:00.006+08:00

Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime;
therefore, we must be saved by hope.
Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense
in any immediate context of history;
therefore, we must be saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone;
therefore we are saved by love.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr ~

(Excerpt from The Irony of American History,
cited in Leading from Within, ed. by S. M. Intrator and M. Scribner)*

I especially like the second line for we are always bewildered and in doubt of what we do in the now, and eager to catch a glimpse of its glory in the future which is shrouded in the mist of time.

Have faith and be saved by it, that what you believe in now, in supposition that it does not harm nor inconvenience anyone or anything, will be saved for time.

*Taken from http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Nothing_Niebuhr.html

The Land of the Blue Dragon

2008-12-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

It is curious. I thought I would be totally exhilarated for a trip after so long (read: 2 years): zipping off on a plane, taking in the sights, tasting the foods and having unexpected adventures. Plus, I have always wanted to visit the Southeast Asian countries; this should have been a winner.

Well, it was not that I did not enjoy myself - I did, on the contrary, immensely - just not as much as I thought I would; then again, I have not been conservative in such expectations. But I digress.

Vietnam, or Hanoi, to be exact, is a beautiful place - that is, if you appreciate the nuances and subtleties that make up a city. An acquired taste, most would say: smog-filled air, brash motorists/motorcyclists, whose penchant taste for blaring their horns is an eye-opener, pushy vendors who "put bananas on shoulders"; and there are the warm people of Vietnam and the cool breeze of winter.

I do not want to bore myself with the details of my vacation - those are stories to be told in person; what I want to remember are the realisations I gleaned in this trip.

I love to travel because I love being on the move. Curled up in a double-deck bed in a train cabin on an overnight train ride, cramped up in a plane with hardly any space to lay back and relax, surviving a bumpy bus (and jeep) ride and cruising in between gorgeous geological feats - those are what I look forward to. The destination is inconsequential (to a certain extent). I do not really care for sightseeing and getting caught up in the tourist attractions; in fact, they bore me.

Which brings me to my next thought: as much as I like investigating the culture and traditions of a certain place, I do not appreciate the patronising manner in which they are presented and the way tourists seek them. Going 'wow' at a cultural performance in which the performers look like they would rather be somewhere else and the whoring of 'exotic' visits make me wonder what is the point of it all. Maybe I am a purist, or maybe I am just being difficult, but no matter; I cannot handle that. It reminds me too much of the imperialist mentality I am so used to criticising. I need to reconcile with this in some ways.

And yes, never be too lazy with preparations. It can be quite a chore (take that from me - the sloth), but it is going to help you not to freeze your ass off in the mountains at 5 degrees Celsius.

Oh, and do not, if possible, join a tour group. I am a tourist, but I am not a tourist, if you get my drift.

I really enjoyed my trip up to Hanoi and Sa Pa and Ha Long Bay. There were nice moments and there were fantastic moments. Of course, I was very very fortunate to have excellent company, which counts for a hell lot.

Remember the hours strolling (extremely carefully) along the streets of Hanoi, huddling together in the mountains of Sa Pa, lazing around on the deck of the boat on Ha Long Bay.

Remember, I will.

I Love You More Than Interracial Gangbang

2008-11-03T00:58:00.001+08:00

I really dislike who I am right now.

By the way, the title of the post has nothing to do with what I'm feeling right now.

Untitled

2008-11-01T00:08:00.002+08:00

I think I try too hard sometimes.

Some things are just meant to be, and people even more so.

In case you're thinking that is has anything to do with the L-word (love, not lesbian, though there is no reason to make that association, but I'm blabbering), it does not.

People and relationships (once again, not just the L-word) are troublesome and difficult to handle. One does not know how to begin, carry on, or to end, if it ever comes to that.

Why? Why am I so pathetic? It's unbelievable. I need to regain that hell-may-care attitude back, pronto. I need to be at peace with what I have and not desire for anything beyond that. I need to realise that everything is enough. I need to expend my energy somewhere else.

I hope by saying this here, having concretise this, it might do me some good: I want to take up yoga (again) and kayaking. At least I'll look good in the process.

I pray for my own salvation now.

Monkey-ing Around

2008-10-30T21:33:00.002+08:00

I've been obsessing with Monkey: A Journey to the West; and how can one not after seeing the trailer! Well, perhaps there was a little bias because the creators of Gorillaz are involved, BUT, it is still (potentially) a fucking good performance.

Pity they aren't travelling. Yet. Grr.

Then there's the short film:

I want to get my hands on the opera. Somehow.

Where In The World Is Osama Bin Laden?

2008-10-17T00:11:00.002+08:00

Old questions rehashed and old responses gotten.

I think that's about summarised what the film did for the mess the American administration left in Middle East.

While it is true that the documentary does not shed any particular light or epiphany on the entire situation (or crisis/disaster, however you're seeing it), it does bring back certain pertinent issues that have simply not been resolved despite all the time that has lapsed.

The exorcism of the misconstrued perceptions of people in the region has been done time and again; once again, this film does not offer anything new. And yet, there's this warm fuzzy feeling to hear them say that all they want is a peaceful life and a hopeful future for their family.

One idea that popped up in the film noteworthy was that the capture and/or demise of Osama bin Laden (or OBL as he is affectionately called by the filmmaker) do not and will not change anything for the Middle Easterns, not one single bit. OBL has become an idea, an abstract ideology that will not die together with him; it has become something else altogether.

This point in history is a conflux of many forces and variables that have met with such aggressiveness and energy that no simple solution or cure can be found for the festering sores. It almost seems like a retribution of bad choices.

I pray and hope for the day of rationality and compassion.

The Little Things

2008-10-07T21:55:00.001+08:00

Did I mention I love the smell of garlic and onion and ginger sizzling in the oil?

Not necessarily in that order, not necessarily together.

A Day Of No Tears

2008-10-05T01:42:00.002+08:00

It's sad, so sad.

I should and could have cried; but I didn't and couldn't.

It could be what I thought of a few weeks back. It could be the fact that Hiroshima Mon Amour is possibly an epic love story (or not). It could be the late-night bus ride. It could be the songs playing in my ears.

Even as this turns into words, the feelings of agitation and moroseness is wearing away.

It could be the shower. It could be the home. It could be the warm air I'm breathing in.

It was sad. I felt sad.

It is time like this that I hope for death, only if because of an end it brings, an end to the inadequacy and helplessness.

Even at times like this, I cannot be poetic about it; it's disappointing.

Somehow, I wished to wallow in the bleakness that shadowed my soul just that moment ago. But it's gone, moved on to haunt someone more worthy.

I shall wait. And maybe hope for a quick end.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights

2008-09-28T01:28:00.000+08:00

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights from Seth Brau on Vimeo.

I'm In Love!

2008-09-21T23:06:00.002+08:00

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy then is to suffer but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Sonja (Love and Death, 1975)

I Could Be More Romantic

2008-09-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

The train cruises along its tracks, and the clouds trail in the opposite direction (there were some remaining stationary at the back; though they seemed more like a water-colour painting). The evening sun peeps behind the clouds, occasionally leaking its light beyond them.

I cannot look away from this marvellous picture. I am almost certain that someone is responsible for something as beautiful, as poetic. I don't want this to end and I am compelled to surrender myself to it, indulging in this moment forever. I'd give anything.

I wonder if anyone else saw the same thing I did.

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of What?

2008-08-20T23:04:00.003+08:00

Thorns and pricks, and whatever shit;
But definitely not marshmallows.

I am inspired to come up with a list of what I want to do/accomplish (no timeline as yet though):

1. Open a boutique hotel/inn
I haven't really thought of a concept for this, but it would probably have to do with films, music and books.

2. Organise a fund/organisation to empower underprivileged children through artistic expression.

3. Write a great script that is adapted for the big screen.

4. Write a great book everyone wants to read.

That's all for now. I guess the list will grow one way or another. You go, Koony!

Nation Under Lee

2008-08-20T21:49:00.002+08:00

This is a loaded documentary (if you can call this that) that must be consumed with a great amount of discernment. In exploring the intricacies of the PAP's reign, views equally biased are presented, which only serve to discredit the filmmaker.

Instead of relying on hard facts to state their case and inspire political participation, the filmmaker resorted to unkind words that seem to draw a parallel to the underhanded methods they accused the PAP of taking.

I would not deny it being a commendable piece of social commentary, albeit in-your-face and a teeny bit self-righteous.

Singaporeans need to stop believing the images on the wall and climb out of the cave to see what it really is all about. You can be apolitical, but it is unwise to be apathetic.

Epiphanies In The Dark

2008-08-17T00:20:00.002+08:00

The realisation dawned on me, not as dramatic nor as romantic; but it did, slowly and surely.

I am not unprincipled as I thought myself to be, but rather that I tended to go the opposite way from an idea brought forth. That's not to say I'm disagreeable; I like to play the devil's advocate (ugh). And it really explains a lot of things to myself, because I can have two (or more) contrasting views and ideas about a certain subject, and that is confusing to me. But now, it makes so much more sense. I guess I've always had the answer in front of me, but I've not seen it.

Ah. How wonderful such personal epiphanies are. It feels almost like a personal achievement to unveil that particular side/psyche/mentality/attitude about myself.

And did I mention that I love my Acting Workshop? What a glorious end to a week!

Need To

2008-08-10T12:53:00.002+08:00

School started and I am doing fine. Things are slow now, and there is this strange sense of surreality. Here, not here.

I need to start writing again; if only for my writing class. Another bout of creative brainstorming to commence.

Men and monsters. Everyday and extraordinary. Mundane and magical. Truth and lies.

Here we go, again.

I'd Never Thought

2008-07-31T10:23:00.002+08:00

I was restless and aimless. I couldn't concentrate on doing anything. I couldn't settle down.

That was terrible. Relief and bliss at the end of the festival were what I had in mind; but alas, it was not to be.

I thought I would be enjoying doing the things I wanted to do but simply had no time and energy to while the festival was going on, but alas, no. Well, primarily because I had no desire to do them at all.

Strange that at the end of it all, emptiness filled up the void the festival left in its wake. I wanted it to be over, and it took everything along with it.

I didn't know what to do, except pace around the house, pondering what I could and wanted to do; that desire hid itself well.

In the end, I went to bed early.

That was yesterday.

AYF!

2008-07-21T22:33:00.004+08:00

A Busy Time

2008-07-21T22:30:00.002+08:00

One word: busy.

Maybe another one: tired.

And Batman is officially cool. I have never been this scared, not even at a horror show. Or maybe they're two different sort of fears.

And. Please do come for A+3FF.

Bald As An Egg. Or Maybe Not.

2008-07-12T21:53:00.002+08:00

So I finally went for the Hair For Hope after talking so much about it - and it was over in less than five minutes. Faster than I can say 'Take all you want, sir!'

After a shoddy job at shaving my hair off, a plain Prima Deli bread, a bottle of premium (I think) mineral water, a proud certificate with my name splashed over it, a hasty change and a really messy wash in the toilet, I realise I've just been made used of.

Yes, yes, I should have expected it. This was all a publicity stunt and their aim is, afterall, to shave off as many heads as they can; I'm just one the many. Hence the really impersonal treatment.

Perhaps I should have hung around more. Talk to some people. Get to know more about the whole thing that they are doing. And maybe meet some of the kids they said would be there. Give them words of encouragement.

Perhaps.

Or maybe they just don't need me. They obviously do not lack the number who are more than willing to get their locks chopped off. I think I can better put my effort into other causes who need more attention. I hope I'm the only one who thinks the same way or people are going to start disappearing from this.

It's a good cause, but I doubt I'll be doing this again. Good luck!

(This should have been written long before, but by some foul craft, I was waylaid. Even now, I'm still suffering from the dregs of that spell. Gosh, I'm tired.)

New! Transport Rebates For Innovative Entrance!

2008-06-24T23:58:00.003+08:00

I bet you didn't hear this piece of news when they told you that they are catching the conniving, cheating crooks and making them pay (literally) for their crimes - you'll get rebates for your public transport fees this coming July!

Commuters who cheat on their fares or misuse their privileges (pertaining to fares, of course, what else?) will be punished severely (read: SGD50); but as part of their reward programme, which will be launched concurrently, the Big 2 are rewarding members of the public if they board the bus or enter the gantry innovatively.

Hauling your bag onto the sensor (and flipping it in various directions, and wounding people all around you, and praying that your card gets read somehow) is no longer the fad! Don't even talk about slamming your wallet/purse. What? Actually getting out your EZLink card?! You must have been living in a cave all these time.

The winner goes to... The Nipple-Tapper! With a graceful bend, and a slight thrust of his chest, the keeper lightly taps his card on the sensor with the help of his nipple. It takes a lot of thought to come up with this method and certainly a lot of practice to accomplish it with such poise.

The bar is raised. What bizzare ideas would Singaporeans come up with next? I await with abated breath.

The Song Of The Moment

2008-06-24T23:47:00.002+08:00

"रघुपित राघव राजाराम , पतित पावन सीताराम
सीताराम सीताराम, भज प्यारे तू सीताराम

ईश्वर अल्लाह तेरो नाम, सब को सन्मित दे भगवान"

The song that is stuck in my head for the last few months. I really adore this song, a bhajan to Rama. I suppose the various contemporary versions I've been listening to add to its appeal; but nonetheless, bhajans, here I come!

I Really Really Don't Feel Like It

2008-06-21T10:40:00.002+08:00

I don't know what's wrong.

I'm sorry if I pissed you off.

I just feel like being alone. Away from the world. Just for a while. I need to get away from humans for a while.

Maybe I need something else altogether.

I'm sorry. Again.

Discover The Beauty

2008-06-09T15:30:00.002+08:00

Alanis Morissette is the rock. Well, yeah, not least because she's a rock chick, but also because her music totally rocks. Ok, maybe not so much of her early 90s stuff; those are just...

Anyway.

My throat's a little scratchy today, for no good reason. It's just wham! and I'm feeling like I've swallowed a bunch of sandpaper or something. Most likely something.

I don't know why I'm rambling here, but I guess I just felt like writing something here. It gets a little lonely here sometimes, doesn't it, my love?

Reading The Diving Bell and The Butterfly now. Although it's a pretty easy book and just goes over a hundred pages, I'm taking it slow. No, this is not an excuse for my notorious speed of reading, but because I feel that this book, like poetry, should be savoured and mulled, and allowed to settle and thought about. Like poetry.

I hope the reviews are true: I want to fall back in love with life.

Give Me A Break

2008-06-02T11:31:00.003+08:00

All of us have our stories to tell, burdens to carry, operating word being 'all'.

But I wonder how many times I've heard

"I've been through a lot."

"You don't understand me, so don't judge me."

No shit.

Why do you (generally, not singling anyone out, though if you think I am, time to think things through, oh tortured one) insist on letting yourself be damaged? Everyone's been through things, and naturally as you grow older, you go through more, if quantity of distress is what you mean. But if you're referring to magnitude, get over yourself. I might not have gone through what you have, but I have my fair share of problems to deal with and demons to exorcise, so don't play victim on me.

And I don't understand, because you simply don't let me! Simple as that. Communication is a two-way thing - get that into your tormented head. And I am only judging because you make me - because you are so pathetic. You don't get to make self-righteous and philosophical remarks when you're standing still, curled up on your baby cot licking your goddamn wounds.

Or maybe it's just me.

I'm all for openness, baring it all. Especially if you want to have any sort of decent relationship with me. I don't want to have to second-guess you, be over-sensitive to your fragile little heart, assuring you with half-hearted assurances. It's really too much work for me.

There are moments when I fail, and I don't need a pantomime with me at that time. Be true to me, and I'll be true to you.

Be true.

We Are All Going To Die!

2008-05-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

(Somehow this phrase sounds so familiar.)

I just thought that if I start blogging about the insufferable weather that has been plaguing our sunny little island these few days, it might just go away.

I know - wishful thinking. And that's a gross understatement.

Nothing really seems to help to curb this humidity, this heat. Be gone! O terrible one! It just makes everyone (pointing fingers makes me feel better about myself) wants to hide indoors, with our trusty electric fans and airconditioners. Yes, yes, it's going to be a vicious cycle, ya-da, ya-da.

I do care about global warming, but I mean one can only give in that much. Mother Nature, if you're listening, there's only so much we (once again, the collective) can only learn to suffer this much - we are only mortal, O Great One.

And in case you want to know, I work really bad with an open deadline. Give me a date or you will never get anything from me.

Like I said, we are all going to die. Bless our wretched souls.

Don't Misunderstand

2008-05-12T08:09:00.003+08:00

I get these a lot:

"Are you ok? Not feeling well?"

"You look distracted. You ok?"

Thing is, my mind strays a lot. Especially when I'm alone. Thus the spaced-out, stoned, vacant look on my face when you catch me at one of those little psychic outings.

Well, maybe I'm thinking about some stuff, or maybe my mind just shuts off, but if you leave me alone, my flitting mind will take a hike.

I'm fine. I think you just haven't seen me ill or troubled: my face would be extremely distorted. So look out for that.

Constructed Existence

2008-05-07T18:21:00.002+08:00

When an ex-classmate expressed his opinion that homosexuality is a result of nurture, I raised an eyebrow. Not that he could see it as it was an online conversation.

I never really had a grasp on the debate between nature and nurture and most definitely do not have a stand on what makes gays. Ok, maybe not a irradiated spider who loves a piece of ass.

But somehow the argument that homosexuals is really a matter of choice, that external circumstances are the crucial factors, that gays are MADE, doesn't seem to sit too well in my mind. And if the almighty heterosexuals choose to go by this, wouldn't that make them a greater and finer example of a construct?

Look. From the tender age when we could discern the things around us, we are inundated by images, ideas, perspectives of heterosexual love and affection. Television, newspapers, movies, parents, aunties and uncles - they sell the idea that man and woman belong in union and nothing else. And by this argument, wouldn't that suggest that we are, then, 'nurtured' to engage in heterosexual relationships? Wouldn't that make straight people a fallacy? Assuming they would like to engage in the idea that sexuality is manufactured.

Nature versus nurture.

I suppose we are a mixture of both, maybe more of the latter. I believe what and who we are are constructs of the social world. Yes, I'm a proponent of nurture. So why do I get so flustered by my ex-classmate's words? I guess it's the values and assumption thrown into that very same word when he used it that got to me.

PS: Bless the world. Too much lives have been lost in vain.

Think Thoughts, Imagine Imaginations

2008-04-27T00:09:00.004+08:00

That's the thing about the end of examinations, you get too much time in your hand which you have no idea what to do with and you think thoughts and imagine imaginations.

You start conjuring wild ideas and bizarre stories. You feel invincible. You start deluding yourself that you can do anything. The next story is going to be the next biggest thing. Ever. Thoughts and imaginations.

This holiday I've resolved to watch at least one film a day and so far I've kept to my resolve. Pretty good shows I've caught: the Vengeance trilogy by Park Chan-wook, The Wizard of Oz (yes, the one with Judy Garland and the gay-est Lion) and Singin' In The Rain. Watching Hollywood musicals makes me want to sing and dance (tap-dance, to be exact) and twirl round lamp posts and skip down the streets.

I want to be in a musical.

It also dawned on me, while reading about the history of life on Earth (and in the midst of The God of Small Things), that everything is a social construct. What we should do, how we should behave, when to speak, why we go to school. Nothing but folktales passed down generations.

Who we should love. And how. And how much.

Isn't it a shame? Sometimes I would wonder.

What Happened After A Movie Is Made?

2008-04-12T20:22:00.001+08:00

One of my practicum mates dug a blog entry when she was browsing through our online presence.

"You’d think that a “school of communication and information” would come up with a better website, but here it is.
Most of these movies were made before Singapore became a nation-state of its own. Back then, almost everyone thought of themselves as “Malayan”. How meaningful is it then, to appropriate these movies as part of an ideal Singaporean film past?"
- strangeknight

I gladly acknowledge our fellow netizen's point of view of the cinema that happened in the Studio Era. Much of the people do not even know the existence of such films, much less claim cultural ownership of them.

But, how does one define a national cinema? It is especially difficult in this time of globalisation (ouch), when trans-boundary collaboration is not uncommon. A Spanish director, an American producer, a Chinese scriptwriter and shot in Australia: what then? Who claims this piece of work?

Believe it or not, it's much simpler when you look at the Malay classics. Most of them were shot in Singapore, produced in Singapore; surely that's credible enough circumstances for us to 'appropriate' them as our film heritage? Ironically, Malaysia has no grouse stamping their claim over these films, only because they were shot in Malay. And if you're still not convinced, even the experts say so. Take that.

Also, it's true that when the movies were made, people has no concept of Singapore as a sovereign country, merely part of a bigger geographical entity known as Malaya (though this reminds me of Lion City when they were talking about PAP winning the 1959 election and the little girl singing Majulah Singapura). But, Malaya is no more. Does that mean that these films should go along with it? Shoved into the pages of history and forgotten? Call them Malayan films if you will, but what good does that do? How does that benefit future examinations of these films? It might seem a weak argument to claim that these are Singaporean films, but nonetheless sensible and essential.

By strictly adhering to the demarcation of political boundaries to dictate what belongs to whom when, it's going to pose a lot of problems, not just for these Malay classics, but plenty of films worldwide. Cultural artifacts should be left independent of politics, but unfortunately, they will always be points of contention. Probably except in this case. Singapore just do not care.

Perhaps it's about the people having a consciousness about these films, having a sense of belonging. If no one feels something about these films, what's the use of acknowledging them as Singaporean? And I believe that the first step is to share them with the public, showcase them, create awareness, pique their curiosity. Then we can begin to negotiate their place within our cultural memories. I think ultimately, it's not for one film festival to decide what is Singapore or not; it's really up to everyone.

Appropriation? Perhaps. But I think it's a tough line to draw. Maybe we can work something out eventually. Maybe another 60 years.

Interestingly, as a side note, it seems that hardly anyone wishes to be associated with these films, probably Malaysia and the Malay community in Singapore. Cathay would rather showcase their Hong Kong productions, while Shaw just tucks them away (safely) in their vaults. I don't know what sort of acts of legitimation these films deserve, but I sure hope that with this festival, people catches wind of them and do something about them, save them from oblivion.

So what happens after a movie is made? We remember them. Or we forget about them.

PS: By the way, I happen to think our website is fabulous.

Urban Beats - Your Fun Guide To Urban Life

2008-04-12T11:26:00.002+08:00

Wondering what's the coolest news program in town? Look no further!

PS: Comments are greatly appreciated. ;)
PPS: As an incentive, you get to see me in action. :p

Perspectives Half-Mortem

2008-04-02T08:01:00.002+08:00

This may have come a day (or two) late, but Opening Night was a blast!

Apart from having a full house (made up of invited guests and paying patrons), we had film lovers waiting to see if there were last minute seats. We had several famous guests gracing the event - Kelvin Tong, Tan Pin Pin (who gave a great speech) and Alfian Sa'at, to name a few. I heard that Alex Au was also there. And other filmmakers, both local and foreign. Call it a star-studded event if you will!

And there were two very special attendees to top it all off - a cinematographer who worked with Cathay-Keris (one of the production studios in the heydays) and was involved with several films we were screening throughout the festival, and one of the lead actor in Lion City. How freaking cool is that!

Everyone (or at least those whom I managed to talk to) gave very positive reviews of the evening and I think I'm most thankful that everyone who came enjoyed the show and themselves.

Ah. The trip to Monday was extremely frustrating, and I have my grouses in certain things. But I suppose they can wait till everything's over and settled before I confront them again. I wish for more sleep now, but time is not a luxury that I have (I think that was a line from Enemy At the Gates). Assignments abound, I'll have to work my ass off now. The end is nigh.

Perspectives Film Festival

2008-03-13T07:23:00.003+08:00

Yes, this is a shameless advertisement for the film festival we are organising right here in my school.

Do check this out! :)

Poetic Injustice

2008-03-09T23:01:00.002+08:00

"If you play, you pay."

"If they breed, you will bleed."

"Hold your valuables dear, or they will disappear."

"Check out my matching pives."

Ok, maybe not the last one; but I can't help putting them together.

No, seriously. These recent barrage of cringe-worthy campaign taglines seems to point towards haiku classes gone wrong.

I don't have anything against rhymes and catchy phrases. It's just that they are incredibly...shallow, if you may. But then again, they're memorable, accessible; who really cares when you get the message across in the end, eh?

I guess the end justifies the means after all.

It Could Be That, And Many More

2008-02-27T18:28:00.002+08:00

人固有一死，或重于泰山，或轻于鸿毛。

I can't remember when I first heard this expression, but it draws me with an unknown attraction. It says, death comes to all men, in glory or in vain.

Maybe it's the concept of death that intrigues me so - the end of one's life, the cessation of an existence. Forgotten; lost; just another human who occupied a space here.

Nevertheless, we strive to leave a mark before we leave, an act of immortalisation, whether consciously or not - a friend used to say. It's true, isn't it? We work our influence on the people around us, hoping to be remembered days and years down the road; we create, wishing that someone would pick it up one day to glorify its significance.

We are all trying to find that elixir of life. We want the elixir that does not promise life, but eternity. We want to live on forever.

Maybe I am trivialising the great things people do. Perhaps.

Me? I suppose I'm not any different. I want to be remembered. I think about my funeral and wondered how many people would truly feel sad to have lost me if I die today. It's kind of morbid, but I expect people do entertain such thoughts, when your mind strays just a little bit off the edge.

I help people and I want to help. Selfless acts? Or just buying my way into the record as a philanthropist?

I'm part of the organising team for a film festival that's trying to honour the films from Singapore past, reviving them for the public to enjoy. True passion? Or just trying to find a way into the newspapers?

It's all about perspectives. No one can say for sure what one's intentions are. But I choose to believe that it's all from the heart.

In glory or in vain, we decide what to make of our lives. And our deaths.

Feist-y!

2008-02-16T13:03:00.001+08:00

You know you are going somewhere when you are spoofed.

But Feist is great.

Guess What I've Found

2008-02-15T20:56:00.000+08:00

I'm embarrassed by this.

What Is Man?

2008-02-14T01:33:00.004+08:00

何谓男人？ ‘男人’又代表什么? 我们在以前跟现在有差别吗？

男人一直都被列为‘以性为本’的品种（老二最重要！），更是理性的代表。我们粗枝大叶，冷漠无情，更不会怜香惜玉。

错！男人也许是那么容易看透，那么肤浅，但男人的心理世界不简单。

剧中女人的性格像纸板 - 够平面。但她们不代表女性，更不是贬低女人；女人的平面是为了突现男人的脆弱，深度，赤裸的呈现，不让观众以任何其他方式理解男人与女人之间微妙的关系。

何谓男人？何谓女人？到头来，还不是一个人字？虽有差别，但都是高深莫测，宁人匪夷所思。

何谓男人？何谓女人？何谓人？

Of Accents And Reflections

2008-02-12T22:31:00.000+08:00

So, I finally got to watch the notorious video that pushed the buttons of the nationalistic Singaporeans.

How dare they, the Taiwanese, when they can barely form a proper sentence with their half-baked English! They dare to slam our command of our first language?! They dare to mock our world-class education?! How dare they, indeed.

It is really rare to see Singaporeans getting riled up against outsiders; the last time was probably in the era of the Tiger Cup when there was a kelong. It is nice to see us linking arms and spit outwards, together. But what exactly are we angry about?

Watching that short segment that got the netizens lambasting Taiwan/Taiwanese in all possible ways, I do think that we might just be overreacting just a little.

(Don't hit me! I said 'just a little'!)

It is unfounded to say that we speak like we are aliens, and mocking, to say the least, in imitating (albeit in an exaggerating manner) the way we speak. And what's with that scornful tone that everyone was taking? We are not that bad; after all, we spent a bloody long time in torturous and unimaginative English classes, ok? And, as one netizen aptly puts it, they are a little hasty to make a conclusion when they have only interacted with a thin stratum of Singaporeans: let's see you converse with our JC or secondary students.

But in their defense, I believe they were having problems with the accent that we all so uniquely have, rather than the fact that our standard of English is bleargh. Every place has its own unique accent or way of saying things, be it Mandarin or English or even Hokkien. Slangs, accents, colloquialism, they are everywhere. It is an inevitable fact of life. Complain all you want, but they are here to stay: this is the case in Singapore, and it is the same in Taiwan.

In short, move on.

Moving on, I was completing this survey this afternoon when it struck me how inspiring surveys actually are. They make you think and evaluate your life like you never thought you would.

Take for instance,

My identity independent of others, is important to me.

Like seriously. How deep and philosophical is that? It really sets you thinking about yourself and your life and how shitty things are and how things could be better... You get my drift.

Survey questions make you ponder about stuff that you have never thought of doing before. Hmm.

I think they should give us a lifetime to complete a survey to get a really reliable response from us; 15-20 minutes is just not enough.

FSM & IPU

2008-02-08T11:19:00.000+08:00

I believe in

The Flying Spaghetti Monster

and

The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

When The Old Meets The New

2008-02-08T09:53:00.000+08:00

What happens when you get a funky haircut and go visiting on the very first day of the new year?

Grandfather: (Hokkien) Why your hair like negro? Should comb like your dad (a la side-parting), then look like gentleman.

3rd Aunt: Aiyo, so pai kua (hideous).

Cousin 1: Your hair looks like parrot's. Can fold back or not?

Cousin 2 (I'm pretty sure he was kidding): Why you cut until like that? Join gang, is it? I used to question those kind of people. Join gang, har?

Cousin 3: (in a drunken stupor) Your hair is like a rooster.

And there I thought it was pretty cool to have a different sort of hair. Well, at least I made an impression.

So is this bound to happen when the old meets the new: a clash of ideas, philosophies and perceptions, even taste? At times both sides come to a consensus, creating a new dynamic, for instance my mum's knowing comments to all that it is not the hair that matters.

Then again, the world of the traditions is wearing off. The older generation has shed the skin of the old world, lax about the rituals and ceremonies that they once hold dear. I remember the time when my parents would prepare for the celebrations of important traditional/religious festivals: the huge amount of food and incense paper for the Hungry Ghost Festival; the elaborate ceremonies to usher in the new year. But they just don't do them anymore, or keep them really simple.

No time, no energy. The old world is crumbling.

Reminds me of Lao Jiu. The dilemma of modern aspirations and dreams of the old world is palpable.

What remains for us to look forward to? How will the story end?

Rockit

2008-02-06T21:36:00.001+08:00

My Sister Loves Me A Lot

2008-02-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

Sis: Nah. (hands me earphones)

Me: Oh. Thanks! (grins)

Sis takes out another set of earphones.

Me: (glances over at her earphones) Why you get another one?

Sis: This is for home. The wires can retract.

Me: (glances over again and notices bright shiny red earphones) How come yours nicer than mine? (looks down at my earphone, frowning a little)

Sis: (straight-faced) Because yours cheaper.

What Happened?

2008-02-03T18:46:00.000+08:00

How did we get here? How did we become what we are?

I know there are all the theories, communication and others, that postulate how a person's identity is formed and how characters and personalities are results of interactions with others. Or something like that.

But how on earth did we become bitchy, capricious, slutty, helpful, charitable? Theories that they are, they have a tendency to oversimplify the situation; the process becomes a little inorganic.

The human connection, or just something a little more humane.

And along came the Human Genome Project. We have an angry gene, a gay gene, a depressed gene - who we are becomes defined by a random series of protein. And there's really a reason why we are always so angry: it cannot be helped.

Don't throw him into the prison! He just happened to inherit a thief gene.

We can hardly blame anyone for anything, nor praise. In fact, we can't help being anything at all. So helpless, it's almost disgusting.

I do not want to be typified in a textbook, nor a random biological case. I refuse to.

I am who I am because I am. Maybe that's why I'm a Romantic.

I am Koon Yen.

Too Many Heartaches In One Lifetime Ain't Good For Me

2008-02-01T21:31:00.000+08:00

And so ends a short chapter in this story.

It aches, of course.

Maybe this is good for the both of us. :)

Earth Hour 2008

2008-01-29T18:48:00.000+08:00

Do your part for Mother Earth on March 29th, 2008 at 8pm - switch off your lights for one hour.

(Even though it's probably too late to do anything. We're all going to die!)

You Mean The Nanking Massacre Never Happened?! Like, Really?!

2008-01-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

Despite the evidence to the contrary, some Japanese still hold on to their faith that the terrible event never did happen.

I don't know what their rationale or motivation are behind this - maybe pride, or shame - but the whole world is on the same page on this issue, even their government. They should just admit that it was a mistake, a really grave mistake, and come to terms with the fact that their ancestors are fallible and grossly misguided.

Move on. In fact, the world should move on.

Though, I would really love to hear what they have to say in their 'tribunal' and the movie.

This Is So Unjust

2008-01-25T21:09:00.000+08:00

I know this sounds downright shallow, but

this just reaffirms my point that life is unfair. And all the looks genes are in Taiwan.

Freaky

2008-01-21T08:43:00.000+08:00

I swear I have a cultish boot camp that is passing off as a secondary school right under my block.

Communal singing sessions are held everyday, with the likes of If We Hold On Together. Wait, that is all they sing everyday!

This morning, all of them were yelled at and doing push-ups, military style.

Are you going to cooperate?!

Ok, freaky.

Alien Vs. Prudes

2008-01-14T08:55:00.000+08:00

Watching AVP yesterday, I realised how much sexual innuendos there are. The symbols are so sexually charged, it almost seems like one huge orgy on screen.

Take for instance the opening sequence. We see a space vessel's silhouette descending. The use of shadows to obscure the true shape and contours of the space vessel makes it looks phallic, anatomically correct, at that.

Then of course, there are the Ovomorphs - 'facehuggers'. A victim perspective shot of these creatures always yield an image of a vagina, launching itself towards the mouth of its potential host, almost like an act of cunnilingus. And of course, these facehuggers' victims are men, with the exception of the stereotypically lesbian-looking staff of Weyland. This goes on for the most of the show anyhow.

I shall not even go to the Aliens, what with their retractable mouth and phallic tails piercing their victims for the final kill. They are almost complementary to the Ovomorphs.

So, I assume you would now agree with me that AVP is really about sex. Hah.

(I really can go on about it, but I suppose you get my point.)

And on a totally different note, prudes on Facebook should just screw themselves. If you cannot handle a little mindless fun, don't even add those applications. Seriously. And then label me as 'the gay'. That is just plain rude.

Screw you.

My Professor Told Me

2008-01-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

"Always conduct yourself in a professional manner."

I wish, so much, that everyone would give that a try. Just for a day, or two.

(School will be so much tolerable; maybe enjoyable, if I may so indulge myself.)

I Wish They Would Stop

2008-01-03T08:38:00.000+08:00

“要是您携带大件物品或感到不适，请达乘站立的电梯。”

Which 电梯 does not require you to stand?! I suppose we should sit on the escalators then. Pfft.

They should try using 升降机. Ugh.

Birthday Musings

2008-01-01T19:56:00.000+08:00

With only a few hours to go before the big TWO-THREE, I feel compelled (and a little obligated) to post something here.

But I'm not going to do the whole reflection-over-the-whole-year thing, nor the I-hope-for-a-better-year... thing; it's just so passé. It's 2008 already, in case you're still hiding under that mossy rock.

When 20 came, I went uh-oh. And then 21 came. 22 snuck up on me, that bastard.

Really, 23 year-old is hardly any biggie, not one of those significant notch on the timeline, but nonetheless a reminder that I'm on my way to the big THREE-OH.

Not that it's really much of a big deal also - age doesn't really have anything on me. In fact, if you know me well enough, one of my grandest dream is to grow old and retire. It's just that the number spells so much possibilities and opportunities, or possibly lost ones.

By 2015, I could have my own loft, my own car (with a chauffeur, of course), my own walk-in wardrobe... You know what I mean. Living the life I have always thought I would, it is something to look forward to, to say the least.

In this seven years, my market value would have dropped drastically; probably relegated to ancient status. I would probably have not done the things I should have, no matter what they are, and whining away for the rest of my life about them.

I suppose we don't always get what we want because we are always wanting something that we don't have. If that makes any sense. We can be 18 again, and yet wish we are 40; and when we do finally reach 40, we want to be that virile young thing (assuming we are not, at that point of time; but one never know) again.

Ok, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore, nor why I'm writing this. Right.

And what the heck: I wish for a better year.

(And world peace.)

Creativity Stalemate

2007-12-31T13:41:00.000+08:00

(think, think, think...)

Strike me with ingenuity!

Bloggers Are Wankers!

2007-12-26T18:12:00.000+08:00

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Musings

2007-12-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

I have been asked what I want for Christmas, for my birthday (which, incidentally, is coming up). Peculiar, considering that I have not been asked that for the longest time; or perhaps not at all.

Well, for one, I do not celebrate Christmas, nor my birthday. They are just another day to be struck off the calendar - I do not think too much about them.

And so, I tell them I want nothing, I want nothing from them.

And then a signature smile.

But curling up on my bed, waiting for a phone call, this did a cartwheel, three somersaults and ended off with a grand back tuck: I want nothing from them that they can give me.

If anything in the world, I want more wits. The most annoying thing is that I am not incredibly smart, and neither am I incredulously stupid (though I wish I was; at least I won't worry about this). I write OK, but lacks that punch (maybe they lack character); I make sound argument, but always sounding crude and offensive; I converse pretty well, but hardly make an impression (unless I'm talking about sex, of course).

If there are indeed miracles or higher powers, bestow upon me a little more wit, just a teensy bit.

And while you're at it, could you possibly remove a lil' bit o' the cynicism?

Yeah, there are plenty of it everywhere, festering in the minds of people; young minds even. Thing is, I don't know if they're really cynical.

You see, we are born to a blessed life, the experience of our lives exciting, dynamic and colourful. Or perhaps, too colourful. We are desensitised, numb to innovation, and we think we have seen it all. We simply grow up too fast.

"The world is such and such; it is exactly what I think it is."

The world becomes a familiar and old place. We care not for it, because that is all there is to it.

One friend (or acquaintance, depending on how you see it) once told me that I thought I was cynical and jaded, but I wasn't; I was still waiting to be excited by the world, just like a child.

It was then that it hit me like a sledgehammer. It is true. I am still a child. In this pale blue dot, I barely amount to anything, if not that little stitch in the embroidery of life, of history. I am waiting to be entranced and bewildered, not passively, but actively observing: that little twinkling star that seemed to have shifted since last night; the cool breeze that warns of rain; the unformity of people along Orchard Road; the ubiquity of annoying teenagers.

Are we really cynical, or are we just choosing to be cynical? Am I being too naive, too hopeful?

Sometimes, if not most times, the greatest joy to be had is to be found in the smallest things in life. Open your eyes and mind - give things a chance to impress you.

Retrospective, Introspective

2007-12-22T16:09:00.000+08:00

Ah. So quickly the year went past, and in a few more days, Christmas, also known as the annual capitalist cesspit, will be upon us. Joy to all and peace to the world!

Peace to the world indeed, if peace be given.

In this holiday season (school holidays nowithstanding), it is especially significant to really take stock of things. Over here in Singapore, apart from Christmas, we celebrate Hari Raya Haji as well. And that means something, at least something that we, over here, can and should appreciate.

The year ends in a week's time, and we toast to a better year ahead. But could it really be any much better?

Rising cost of living in Singapore; suspected terrorist activities in Malaysia; volatile political situation in Thailand; military oppression in Myanmar (though I prefer to call it Burma). And I am just talking about our immediate neighbours.

It seems that it really does not matter that these holidays hold some sort of spiritual importance, to the faithful or otherwise: the holiest day of the month in the Muslim calendar ended with a devastating explosion in a mosque in Pakistan, and wars continue like poisonous tumours on all fronts, economic, political, military.

News is so depressing that I am beginning to think that not reading it is an unconscious choice (not an excuse for my tardiness, of course).

Perhaps everyone should stop whatever they are doing, drop your guard, drop your guns and bombs and just indulge in the holidays. After all, when all has been said and done, what is left but the basic humanity we cherish?

It might not seem much coming from a humble blogger like me, but it all start from somewhere, eh?

Peace and joy to all. Happy holidays.

Wait A Minute...

2007-12-17T12:50:00.001+08:00

"The Government has already made contact with the Dutch to tap their expertise in building dykes." - The Straits Times, 17 December 2007

Please don't hold back on the liberal stance. Really.

Circle, Circle, Rectangle, Triangle, Circle

2007-12-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

On a recent drinking/clubbing/wasting spree, a friend wondered why he was not in the circle, and why he was not rubbing shoulders wth anyone who is anyone in the circle. Naturally, we turned on our other friend, on that note, who was writing for a lifestyle magazine and drinking champagne and eating caviar.

I would have given that friend a sermon about how pointless and superficial it is to desire fitting into a mould, to desire the approval of others. But on introspect, I, too, want to be part of a circle.

Truth be told, I have never been the kind who wants to be part of the cool crowd; I cannot be bothered. Blame it on my sloth-like attitude. Well, and I did not think it necessary - I have enough shit of my own to deal with without the false and pretentious life.

But, really, who does not want to be in the limelight? Who does not secretly wish they were part of something grand? Who does not want to be in the circle? Maybe I am not speaking for everyone, but most is a safe guage.

Call me shallow. I guess I just want to be someone whom people want to know.

Then I ask, when does it end? Not that I am in any circle, but if I do manage to infiltrate into one, does it end there? Perhaps. But my insatiable appetite probably will not let me stop there. I suppose there are two reasons why they call it circle.

First, any number of people can be allowed into this protected community. Not just three or four people.

Then, it is not an end, but a cycle.

Whatever this circle is, I have my wish to be in it; but I suppose I will not be the worse without it. After all, I only need my friends and I.

I Can Fight 15 Five-year Olds! I'm So Proud Of Myself

2007-12-14T14:25:00.000+08:00

Help You To Help Me

2007-12-10T17:50:00.000+08:00

I think I found my calling: to help.

It is like a natural high unlike any other, a sense of fulfilment and purpose. The thought that someone's problem is resolved, or just momentarily soothed, is simply fantastic.

Call it the saviour complex; I just want to help - I want to save the world.

For that few moments, I am part of the grand scheme of things, my place in life (lofty idea it seems); and I forget my problems and insecurity.

Value-laden

2007-12-06T16:03:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking about this for quite some time. I do not know how to say them without sounding philosophical, or worse, preachy; I want it to be contemplative. Well, probably for some, they are the same, but that does not really matter.

Recently I read an article that sort of got me thinking about this again. In this article, the author laments about beauty and how people find it impossible to let go of, even in death (there were, apparently, talks of 'doing it' with the deceased). Insensitivity and utter disrespect aside, this obsession is clearly an indicator of the value system, or lack thereof, within our society.

Gone are the days when people live with dignity, pride, chivalry and love.

Courage; and I am not even talking about saving someone else's life here. We need to stand for what is right, and that which is worth fighting for: our ideals, our principles, our ideas. It is as simple as giving up your seat for a pregnant lady without thinking that all eyes will be on you; or sharing the load of someone on the street; or the courage to tell a friend he is wrong. And of course, the courage to face up to myself, the courage to admit that I am wrong, the courage to acknowledge that I am myself and nothing more nor less.

Humility. No one is right all the time, nor can anyone be on the pedestal forever. We are too full of ourselves to see things clearly. We are so fucking proud of ourselves. We ride on our successes and reassure ourselves that we are alright, that we are going to win, at the end of the day. We are such blooming idiots.

Compassion. This is big stuff. I think it is like the very foundation of everything. Love everyone. Love the man on the street, if not for anything, love him for a fellow human. We have so much to give, but so little that we are willing to part with. Maybe because I belong to a certain group of minority, I feel really strongly for this. It is easy to dismiss what is different as wrong, to measure it against a moral scale. I am not being naive by saying that all differences be removed from perception, but to negotiate the differences and see them for what they really are: differences. Just like red and white. And then, look beyond the differences and recognise that at the end of it all, we are all human.

I am not thinking of changing the world, but perhaps I might change myself.

One step at a time.

I See Light

2007-11-23T21:52:00.000+08:00

Stepping into the dark space that is the theatre, I am suddenly gripped by the realisation how much I miss sitting in the dark. Well, this particular dark anyway. Sitting amongst the crowd, arching my head to stare at the projected images, taking in the story with everyone else is a special experience; and I missed it. As much as I was watching a show I had been wanting to, i.e. Lust, Caution, it hit me that it did not really matter what I watched, then or for any other moment in time. It is the very act of sitting down in there and having my eyes lighted by the moving pictures that excites me. I am excited by movies.

Leaving that tiny space, still reeling from the intensity of the film, everywhere was soaked by the evening sun. There is something about the quality of evenings that is almost magical: the feeling of serenity, peace and satisfaction. I wanted to touch the evening light. I wanted to hold it in my fingers. I wanted to embrace a moment in that minute. There was hope.

Walking home, clouds were building themselves into castles in the sky, or could it be that a lot of people were dreaming at the same time? I saw the moon, full, ivory and bright. It was the most beautiful thing I have seen today.

Metamorphosis

2007-11-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

Life is full of change, every moment fleeting, transcedental.

I try to grasp each beautiful second, hold it tight, but never seeming to accomplish that - blame it on a weak will.

It is difficult to take stock of life when you are inundated by change, flooded by secularity.

The end of the semester is finally here. I am immensely relieved. The long-awaited break.

It is true what Elyse said, that the beauty of college education lies in the fresh start you are rewarded with every semester. A second chance, if you will. Or a third, fourth, depends on how you look at it. How often do you get that?

And a splendid start to my holidays with an evening out with Elyse and Kester. OK, probably not so much Kester since he had great responsibility. After the mundane social scene in school, a trip back to reality and things that matter and an intellectual discourse is so refreshing and invigorating. She brings me back to earth, humbles me and puts things into perspective. Thank you.

Though it is easy to say how much I enjoy myself and your company, I guess you will never know how much I really do.

"Have you ever wondered that if you're good to Koon Yen, he'll be good to you too?"

And So It Is... Or Is It?

2007-10-24T16:26:00.000+08:00

It seems that the government has spoken on the fate of 377A (with so much hype about it, I think it might possibly be a pop culture reference soon): it will stay, and possibly outlive me.

It should not come as a surprise, but nonetheless there is this feeling of regret. I thought we were getting somewhere, what with the debate (hardly civilised and intellectual) going on at both sides of the camp (no pun intended) and the reading of the Parliamentary Petition by an NMP. This means that Singapore is opening up for greater citizen involvement in politics and the policies that are going to govern our lives. Right?

What the MPs said in Parliament is hardly anything we have not heard before: upholding the moral standard in Singapore, providing a conducive environment for our children (operating word being 'conducive', which is defined as 'straight'), a conservative nation who is not prepared for the acceptance of alternative lifestyles (citing a study done by NTU; go, Dr. D!) and the pursuit of the gay agenda.

Let's see,

1. Upholding moral standards - I am sure all rational Singaporeans would appreciate the fact that morality is not exclusively applicable to gay sex. How can this ever be? The broad concept that is moral includes each and everyone of us, doesn't it? Unless my education is grossly incorrect. So how does the noble cause of sustaining a moral society come into play with a single law that makes any sexual act between two men illegal? If you are referring to the open secret that gay men sleep around like rabbits, then it is casual sex that should be of concern; and even then, how do you define hetero-casual sex? Does moral not extend to that domain? And by talking about gay sex in the same category as widely unacceptable sexual acts like paedophilia and necrophilia, isn't that a little bit of leading to a conclusion which people cannot help but draw? Further more, morality (a judgement of an act which should or should not be done) is not something the law (if the act can or cannot be done) should be involved in. Don't throw the weights of morality self-righteously.

2. Conducive environment for children - Suddenly, the role of education falls into the hands of the state. Parents are no longer accountable for the development of their children, for the laws shall be responsible for dictating what is right and wrong in society. Perhaps I exaggerate on this, but it does paint a picture of that certain tone. No, please, consider this for a moment.

3. Conservative society - Yes, I admit that Singapore might not be ready for such a change. But is it wise to just make this claim based on one study that is done? I am not discrediting the research that was done, in fact I have plenty of trust in it, but are we truly able to make such a conclusion on just this one result? This has been the main argument for not repealing the law, even circumventing the Constitution, which states that all citizens' rights are protected under the law. So who gets to decide when the Constitution does not serve the greater good? How legal is this law and claim to keep it then?

4. The pink agenda - Fears that gay activists might push for something more if they get what they want this time is a due worry, unfounded, but necessary. Drawing precedence from the various countries that have passed down, or repealed, laws protecting the rights of homosexuals, it might prove to be a possibility. I believe that an aggressive stance would backfire; gays are the minority, it is unwise to try and set the agenda for the society. Appreciate that fact and fight for the rights that belong to us; do consider the others, not because they are the majority, but because we are all living in the same society. We want them to listen to us, so let us listen to them as well. Even then, considering that the government has been pretty hard-handed about homosexual activities, surely it is time the government made some small steps forward?

I might, perhaps, sound contradictory in my entry - am I standing on the government's side, or rooting for the repeal? I stand for the repeal, but I do want to think about the possible repercussions of such a decision as well. But I would like to think that we are matured enough to handle this, to make the correct decision for ourselves and to build the right kind of world we want our children to live in: equal, tolerating and just.

The debate about this is going to go on, and it would be a monumental moment when the rights of homosexuals are acknowledged. Until that time, I guess I will just cross my fingers and hope for the best.

To Repeal Or Not To Repeal

2007-10-20T07:59:00.000+08:00

I just signed the open petition to keep Penal Code S377A last night. I also signed the petition to repeal the law a few weeks back. Singapore, or at least the activists, are split along the homosexuals and the homophobes.

So where do I stand? I root for equality and fair treatment, a society where I can be who I want to be, not just an aspect of me, but the entirety of me. I stand at the side of healthy conflict, truth and rationality.

I can, to a certain extent, understand the concerns of the Majority (them being an entity on their own), but what confounds me is the lack of substantial thought into their viewpoint. Why do they want this piece of law to stay? God, upholding a moral society, a conducive environment for the next generation, pure fear.

And so I say to them: 'Yes, please keep 377A. Please keep this pathetic excuse to uphold a morally upright and conducive society for all. Please keep this piece of barbaric law that you have looked to to educate your children. Please keep this outdated secular regulation in the name of God (I'm sure He'd be feeling all fuzzy inside). Please keep this discriminating law while you draw up more bigoted bills and uphold your own style of human rights.'

The social stigma of being a homosexual stems deep. Perhaps some of them do have bad experiences with the few bad apples, but why so quick to pass judgement on the entire community?

This brings to mind about the lecture I had yesterday on truth-seeking and freedom of expression. What is the truth? Can everybody handle the truth? Is the freedom in the 'decadent' West truly unsuitable for us?

Perhaps the powers that be was right to withhold political involvement within the elites, beacause apparently most of us still cannot handle the logical and rational thought process necessary to make sound decisions and opinions about matters.

Or perhaps it is all just a deep-rooted discrimination.

I have signed the petition, I have said my piece. Honestly, this is getting a little old. I am no activist, don't get me wrong,but I do have things I want to say; but I am tired of all these shenanigans. I will be who I am and do what I will, and I would have no self-righteous zealots to tell me otherwise.

For the better good? Bullshit.

It Really Gets Me

2007-10-12T23:14:00.000+08:00

What does it mean to be in the midst of it all: the barrage of technology and information that constantly snatches us from our lives?

What does it mean to communicate, now? The very force that seems to brings us closer is at the same time tearing us apart.

We cannot bear to be near each other, and yet we desire that intimacy technology can provide us. We want to be safe, safe from the investment of real feelings; and so we find relationships in this virtual space that almost seems to be tangible, albeit with strokes and clicks.

Everyone are ghosts of their past, present and future, wandering among the real and the virtual. We see, hear, touch and acknowledge every existence, but just falls short of feeling all of it, listening to every beat, watching each step. As spectres do, they haunt. And we haunt our souls and the people around us, screaming silently for an escape; how, we cannot guide them, or ourselves. It seems impossible to get out, but we must do our best.

Climbing and scaling the hieghts of society; not just power or fame or glory or money. The very act of reaching up represents a desire and a lust. What are we reaching for in the end? What is at the very top, the tip? What happens when we find that? Where will we go? We cannot suffer a trip down, it is too treacherous. What then? We find other ways. Neither up, nor down. We go horizontally, or even diagonally. Perhaps that would lead us to another place that we want to go to.

Is it about communication and how it is breaking down in this age of advancement? Perhaps, and much more. It is a performance of energy and compelling narrative. It is about us, essentially: love, relationships, self, money, sexuality.

What makes us tick? What makes us?

The Half Has Come

2007-09-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

The term is half over before you know it. Whew.

I don't know if anyone noticed it, but I realised I do not like to blog as much as I did; or rather there isn't a need to dump my thoughts here. Whatever the case, it disturbs me a little, not in the freaky sort of way, but the nostalgic sort of way. It's almost like ending a story you have been writing, not because there's nothing left to write, but because you felt it's time to wrap it all up.

If you get my drift.

“死生契阔，与子成说。执子之手，与子偕老。”

What does it mean to stick together forever, holding each other's hand till the last ounce of strength drains from you? I don't know. I don't even think it exists, in this contemporary society, where everything is about efficiency and instant gratifications. The idea of nurture and savour is long lost, I feel.

What does it take to rekindle that good old I-will-be-with-you-till-the-end-of-time? Nothing, I suppose. It is long lost, a myth and a good bedtime story. I guess we turn to timeless classics like 梁祝 to indulge ourselves that true love is possible, at least for ourselves.

I went to the show for the purpose of experiencing Chinese opera, an artform we should have been more acquainted with, but inhibited by the decline of the dialects. I enjoyed myself: the exquisite sets, unique singing and graceful movements. I think I gound something else in that performance I cannot put in words, mainly because I haven't excatly found what it is.

Anyhow, Paul and I attended a post-performance talk with the key performers (mainly the lead, because she is the troupe leader). She, who played 梁山伯, commented that as good as the idea is of having a talk at the end of the show, she is sceptical of the effect of deconstructing a performance.

It's true, isn't it? Oh well.

Oh, and did you know that the 梁祝小提琴协奏曲 that we're so familiar with, wasn't in the original score? ;)